This advice is taken from the webinar ‘Supporting Picky Eaters’ which was delivered by Sarah Neville for Childcare.co.uk on 12th October 2022 and should be read in conjunction with the webinar slides and commentary – www.childcare.co.uk/webinarplayer.
Things to do:
**Keep a diary of everything the child is eating in the early years setting and at home – this will be useful to track whether the child is getting enough food and to share with other professionals.
**Ask parents to take their child to the doctor to check weight / height and discuss their diet – the diary will help them to share their concerns.
**Offer the following meals – breakfast, small snack, lunch, small snack OR small supper, tea.
Why afternoon snack or supper? If the child is in an early years setting all day, parents might want to be involved at home, so let them know what food groups are missing from their child’s diet each day and share information about their child’s portions. Ask parents to fill in the diary.
**Make 3 lists –
- ‘Safe’ food the child will consistently eat...
- ‘Medium’ food the child will sometimes eat...
- ‘Desirable’ food parents want the child to eat.
**Check meal sizes – offer children 3 main meals and 2 SMALL (not meal replacement) snacks. The NHS website tells us that most children are being offered and expected to eat more food than they need –
https://infantandtoddlerforum.org/toddlers-to-preschool/portion-sizes-for-toddlers/toddler-portion-sizes-table/.
**Plan the child’s food to cover 5 portions of fruit and vegetables, 5 portions of starchy foods, 3 portions milk or milk products, 3 portions of protein and very small amounts of fat, sugar and salt (once or twice a week). Drinks are either free access to water and a cup of milk (as part of their 3 portions of milk or milk products a day).
At the same time, teach children about healthy eating and nutrition so they know what different food groups do for their bodies and the importance of eating a range of foods every day.
Steps to successful eating:
Note: don’t make changes if the child is going through other transitions in their life.
**Everyone sits round the table for a reasonable length of time and enjoys the mealtime experience.
No other changes until this has been achieved consistently. If the child gets down, pop them back on their chair and say, calmly, something like, ‘We sit at mealtimes’ and then carry on with the general conversation.
**Children tolerate food on their plate while sitting at the table.
No other changes until this has been achieved consistently. If the child throws the food onto the table, pop it back on their plate and continue chatting, playing games etc. If the child throws the food onto the floor, sweep it up and say something like, ‘I see you are not hungry – the next meal is xx’ and carry on with the meal.
**Children are offered food from lists 1 and 2 across all the food groups every day – they sit for the length of the meal and they tolerate it on their plate.
No other changes until this has been achieved consistently. Tips include keeping mealtimes short – if food hasn’t been eaten within a reasonable time, remove it calmly and say something like, ‘I see you are not hungry – the next meal is xx’.
**Food from list 3 is added to children’s plates MINDFULLY, one small portion at a time. The child learns to tolerate it on their plate (not throw it across the table / on the floor or shout that they don’t like it). Experts tell us children might need to see new food up to 10 times before they try it – this is especially true for visual eaters who will refuse a food based on what it looks like.
Words such as ‘I’m not keen on that’ might be modelled. Children learn that it’s ok to be ‘not keen’ on something, but it’s important to eat a range of foods to stay healthy; they will learn not to put their friends off eating healthily by making negative comments; they will sit together with friends and family and enjoy the mealtime experience.
Some of the main questions:
These are some of the main questions I was asked during the webinar...
**What about food waste?
Charge parents for food and offer the recommended portion sizes. The child either eats it or it is put in the bin.
**What about pudding?
Ensure the pudding is milk and / or fruit based and part of the child’s planned portions for the day and they should be offered the pudding. Why would you withdraw a food group or make healthy eating dependent on the child eating something else?
**What about food costs?
There is no doubt that food costs have risen sharply. This is one reason why it’s more important than ever before to get portion sizes right.
**What if food is thrown on the floor?
Pick it up, pop it in the bin and calmly say something like ‘I can see you are not hungry’ or ‘I see you didn’t want that’.
**What if the child asks for food between meals?
Reply consistently that, ‘The next mealtime is xx’. A visual timetable might be helpful.
**I’m taking it very personally when children don’t eat.
Why? It’s not about you.
**Will the child starve themselves?
Not normally – but if the child is or is suspected to be on the autism spectrum parents should always take nutritionist advice.
**How can I help a 7 year old?
Bear in mind it’s taken 7 years for the child to get into a picky eating spiral and give them as much time as they need to achieve the steps to successful eating.
**Should I use stickers?
I’ve not found them particularly helpful and they might be seen as coercion which should be avoided (see below). Children need to eat because they are hungry and recognise the importance of eating the food they are offered – not because they want a sticker.
Main messages shared during the webinar:
**No guilt – we all know ‘there are starving children in the world’ but early years children don’t need to hear that message.
**No coercion – ‘please eat one more mouthful’ is unhelpful – trust the child when they tell you they don’t want something, or they have had enough.
**No force feeding – if they turn their head or say 'no', take the food / drink away and trust the child to know when they have had enough.
**No bartering – ‘eat this for that’ is unhelpful and leads to children making poor food choices in the future.
**No saving food for later – there are set mealtimes and you keep to them. Grazing will not help a child recognise when they feel hungry.
**No pushing to eat more – experts advise that using words like ‘finish your plate’ leads to unhealthy attitudes towards food and problems with obesity in the future.
**No distractions – mealtimes are about chatting and having fun, not watching TV or tablet.
Again - if you are concerned that the child is not eating enough food or drinking enough water and is at risk of illness or failing to thrive, advise parents to take them to a health professional.
Guiding principles:
**Every child is unique – one size does not fit all. Be prepared to be flexible and make 'reasonable adjustments' (Equality Act 2010) to support the child.
**Work closely with parents – if you are doing all the work and, for example, parents are offering a big meal replacement snack at home because they fear their child is starving, they should be encouraged to visit the doctor and you should follow up with more information about portion sizes and meal planning.
**Trust the child – you don’t know the size of their tummy – you don’t know what they are feeling like inside.
Focus on: mealtimes should be about connection and conversation – not control and coercion.
Mealtime struggles - healthy eating - good food choices etc are very emotive subjects. Medical advice should always be sought if there are concerns about a child's health, wellbeing or failure to thrive.
Thank you, Sarah.
Webinar: the ‘Picky Eating’ webinar was delivered in October 2022 and is available to watch again for Childcare.co.uk gold members here: www.childcare.co.uk/webinarplayer
Photo: Shutterstock (Childcare.co.uk account, 2020).